Thursday, January 25, 2007

Argentinean Soccer Fan Gets It In The Back

Argentine soccer is a mindblowing phenomenon. The stadiums must be plastered with fencing so that the crowd does not become a part of the action. There have been numerous fan-related incidents ranging from grandstand collapses to in-crowd stabbings.

However, the most recent conflict offers a new, hilarious twist to soccer hooliganism. To preface the story, you must understand that the Argentinean club teams have bitter, bitter rivals. Some say the rivalry between Boca Juniors and River Plate is like the Yankees vs. Sawx . . . on steroids.

Nonetheless, the hatred between the two teams offers enough backstory needed for such a crazy run-in. The story begins when a young man decides to get a tattoo of his favorite team's crest:

A Buenos Aires tattoo artist, who is also a River Plate fan, is being sued for etching a penis on the back of a teenager who requested the Boca Juniors logo, according to UPI.

''I could not see what he was tattooing because he didn't have a mirror. I only saw it when I got home and showed it to my parents.,'' said the victim.

A police spokesperson said: ''The tattoo artist supports Boca Junior's rival, River Plate, so he got annoyed when the teenager asked him to tattoo Boca's symbol and decided to tattoo a penis instead.''

The first to see his new tattoo were his mother and father? That scene is right out of the straight-to-dvd American Pie knockoffs. That would be like a RedSox fan in a Brooklyn tattoo parlor asking for a David Ortiz portrait on his back, and instead got a mural of "Big Papi" blowing "Big Papa."

To the tattoo artist, I say: bravo. This is the ultimate portrayal of fan rivalry - with parental embarrassment to boot. And as far as any class-action potential, I find it hard to believe you're going to get much dinero out of a guy who etches private parts on unsuspecting Boca Junior fans. Time to admit defeat and find an affordable laser-surgeon.

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